It is Merlin
by queen-morgana
Summary: Morgana finds out Merlin has magic and terrible things are about to happen. Merlin knows there is a sense of doom soon to come and goes back in time to try and save Morgana, his destiny, his love, and his friend
1. Prologue

(A/N: Hi guys, so this is my first fanfic ever. I'm really curious to see how it turns out and what you all think. I think its pretty simple to figure out and whatnot. Feedback is appreciated.)

Prologue

**Morgana**

"It is Merlin," Mordred spoke the words plainly and yet Morgana could barely hear what he was saying. Her breath caught in her lungs as she tried to process it. Everything, everything that had happened to her had been because of Merlin. He had betrayed her, he had had magic this entire time and he had never mentioned it to her. She thought of him as a friend. He was a lost friend yes, but one that she could have trusted if she had not turned away from the path of good.

She felt lost at that moment. More lost than she ever had before. Mordred was kneeling before her, as a soldier waiting for orders and she had known. Her heart hurt, more than that her stomach was in knots and she could feel the blood rushing to her head and all the shock from discovering that someone she had one loved was behind all the schemes, all the things that ensured her downfall.

"Leave me," she said when she could finally find her voice again. Mordred rose with the other guards and left the room. Morgana sat rigid in her seat, unsure what to do, or how to react to everything about her.

Then, it imploded. Everything between her and Merlin came rushing to the surface and overwhelmed her with an overwhelming sense of agony to the point where she threw herself from her throne and landed on her hands and knees on the ground.

She let out a powerful scream that broke all the glass in the room until she could scream no more.

Then it was silent.

* * *

**Merlin**

He knew he had messed up when Arthur did not spare Kara's life. Mordred was going to go back to Morgana, that much was certain. And the worst part of it was, Mordred knew of Merlin's powers and would probably tell Morgana the moment he reached her. Merlin shuddered. That was the absolute last thing that he wanted.

Morgana was not the same woman she had once been. Before she betrayed Uther, Arthur, and the rest of Camelot, she had been a kind, compassionate woman with a good heart that even had a little room for him in her life. Now her heart was empty, and cold, and lost. She was his opposite, his enemy. But if that was the case then why did he still love her? Why did he still not want to kill her whenever he interacted with her? It made his head hurt and he tended not to think about it.

"Ah there you are." Of course right when Merlin walked back into Gaius's chamber, his father figure had a job for him. He never got a moment's peace between serving Arthur, saving Arthur, and all the other things that fell in between. Merlin just shook his head and went straight for the books that Gaius kept about magic and certain spells. He skimmed through them until he finally found the one he wanted. Gaius came up behind him, hovering a little. "What are you looking for Merlin?"

"Something to do with time travel," Merlin said absentmindedly. He did not know why he wanted to look for it, only that it was urgent that he do so in order to save Camelot.

"What on earth would you want to do with spells on time travel?" Gaius asked him, sitting down o the opposite stool. Merlin shrugged and kept looking. "You know its incredibly dangerous to meddle in anything such as that, it will change all sorts of things. Remember what happened in the crystal caves when you meddled with the future—"

"Yes, Gaius I remember," Merlin said in mild annoyance. He continued searching for what he was looking for. "found it." Gaius gave him a stern look from across the table. Merlin marked the page with his finger, closed the book momentarily and looked up at Gaius.

"What are you up to Merlin?"

"I want to save her," he said, it came out of nowhere. He had not even known that that was what his intention was until he spoke it. "I want to change everything, fix it, its my fault she's like this. She was my friend and I let her down."

"Do you mean to say, you want to travel back, to save Morgana?" Gaius asked putting his fingers together and leaning in a little. He looked very disapproving, as Merlin figured he would, at this prospect "that is not wise Merlin."

"I know," Merlin said, "but it needs to be done. It might even save Albion and Morgana could help in bringing peace to Camelot once more instead of being on the opposing side."

"I see," Gaius said. He sat there, staring at Merlin for awhile. Finally he stood up and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Well you're going to need supplies for that spell aren't you?" Gaius said and closed the door behind him without another word.

Merlin sat there, still unsure of himself and his plans. This was dangerous, Gaius was definitely right about that. But it was Morgana, and he would save her if he could.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Merlin shook his head as Arthur gave him more work to complete. He never really had any time to himself no matter what the situation was. Even if Morgana had some terrible plan he was never really able to stop her because of all the work that Arthur and Gaius constantly gave him.

But this time was different. This time he knew the things to happen and he could change them. The trouble of course was going to be how he would act around Gaius to make sure Gaius never knew what he was actually up to. Merlin knew the consequences that his actions may bring but he was convinced that they could not get any worse then Morgana attempting to tear a veil between the two worlds as she had been doing.

The only issue now was to discover what part of the timeline he had come back to. He had tried to make it exact but he was not entirely positive he had reached where he had intended.

At the end of the night Merlin collapsed on his bed and blew out the candle to fall asleep. He had not seen Morgana all day and had tried to find her to try and put into context where he was but had had no luck. Arthur had made him polish his armor and muck out the stables again. The only thing he was certain of was that it was either before or after Morgana had disappeared from Camelot and that was not much of a comfort to him in the least.

Either way he would eventually come across her and when he did, he really hoped he could save her from a horrible fate.

* * *

Gwen left for the night and Morgana watched her close the door and leave her to her sleep. Sleep, it was something she feared and could never truly appreciate. She would not have pleasant dreams tonight, she never did. She always saw something horrible, something dangerous that would happen in the future and it pained her to sleep and see these things happen to the people she cared about. It was not a pleasant thing to dream as people claimed.

Morgana lay her head down on her pillow and waited for sleep to come as she dozed off something happened that she could not explain. Her eyes opened, she was not in control as they did so. She felt herself opening her eyes and change and as she watched herself unconsciously do this, the candle's flame rose up and set fire to the curtain that overhung her bed.

The rising of the candle's flame spread and as Morgana watched she finally had the urge to scream in fright and the fear burst to the point where she broke all of the glass on the window. She scrambled from her bed and left her chambers hoping to find Gwen still around. She could not find her maid servant anywhere and began mindlessly running from hallway to hallway feeling lost and trapped and afraid of herself. She could not go back to sleep, they would have to tie her down and drug her at this point. She could not take it anymore. Everything that happened to her terrified her and she had no answers and no real understanding of what it was that was occurring.

She finally found herself at Gaius's chambers hastily banging on the door hoping that he would wake up. She knocked and knocked but no answer came. She cursed in her mind about how soundly old men could sleep and hastened to find help elsewhere. She needed a friend, she need family, she needed someone. Anyone.

* * *

Merlin awoke with a start as the warning bell went off throughout the castle. He hastily rolls out of bed. Maybe this was the moment where he would find out where he was in his timeline. It would decide if he was safe or not and if Morgana had turned to dark side yet. He hoped to god that she had not because then he would have a much harder time bringing her back to the side of good. He had tried once after she had come back from being missing and it had failed. He would do whatever he could to help her this time.

Merlin almost ran headlong into Arthur as he sought to see where the problem was located. Arthur looked at him and just shook his head.

"Do you practice at this or do you just naturally collide into everything?"

"Sorry sire, I was just in a hurry."

"I can see that." Arthur turned and walked hurriedly towards the direction of what Merlin knew to be Morgana's chambers.

"Has something happened to Morgana?" he asked as he hastened to follow.

"Her room was set afire," Arthur responded without breaking stride. He was anxious and Merlin could sense it even without seeing his face.

When they arrived at Morgana's chambers, Uther and Gwen were already standing just inside and observing the damage. Arthur and Merlin walked in and Uther nodded to his son.

"How did this happen?" Arthur asked immediately.

"As of yet we have not found the cause," Uther replied looking around the room. The concern on his face was evident. Having the knowledge that Morgana was his daughter changed Merlin's perception of Uther entirely. Merlin also was starting to feel relieved because he finally knew where they were and at what time.

"I left her just before midnight and there was no one around," Gwen was saying.

"Are you sure?" Uther pressed.

"Quite sure sire."

"If Gwen says that she was the only one around I believe her," Arthur added in. Merlin saw the quick glance that passed between them and told himself that he could not interfere with their relationship as he had in the past and let it play out. Hopefully he could stop Morgana from threatening Gwen and Arthur as well. He had plenty of time to do so.

Uther was walking about the room and touching the part of the overhang where the fire had been. "If there was no one visible when this event occurred," he said slowly, "then this was most certainly caused by magic." With that he dropped the overhang and left the room, beckoning Arthur to follow. Merlin glanced at Gwen. He was not sure how much Gwen knew about Morgana's powers but what he saw in her face was concern and worry for her friend.

"Its going to be alright Gwen," he said putting a hand on her shoulder to try and reassure her. She just nodded and made a point of busying herself about the room to clean up the mess.

Merlin took the hint and walked out of the room back towards Gaius's chambers.

He stood outside the door when he heard Morgana's voice.

"It was terrifying," she was saying. "I had no way of controlling what was happening about me and no way to stop it."

"I don't understand," Gaius replied. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it was me," Morgana said earnestly. "I started the fire." Merlin froze, and waited for Gaius to respond. He already knew how this scenario played out but he was hoping that it would change somehow. It did not. Gaius still was not willing to talk it out with Morgana. This was where it was going to start to go downhill but Merlin was not going to let that happen. He cared too much about Morgana to let it happen a second time.

Morgana got up to leave and Merlin started to walk in the other direction so that Gaius would not see that he had been eavesdropping. He was not headed to talk to the dragon this time. He already knew what he would say and he was afraid that Kilgarrah would notice what he done to the timeline. The dragon was wise and would sense Merlin's uneasiness immediately. As Merlin walked down the hall, he felt someone touch his hand. He started and turned to see Morgana standing behind him. HE could see the fear in her eyes and it hurt him to see it.

"I know you were listening just now," she said quietly. She frantically looked around and when she saw that no one was looking she whispered. "I need your help. No one will listen to me and try to help me. Gaius thinks I am crazy, Gwen is put in danger by knowing anything related to my dreams and well Arthur and Uther will never listen to me and thing I have just gone through something terrible."

Merlin looked at her, seeing the fear and longing to know in her eyes. This was his chance to do something. He had to take it. The only problem was that he had not expected to star helping her so soon. He thought that he would have time to plan how he would go about the business. But alas that clearly was not the case and he was going to have to act. He could not let her live in fear as she was. He squeezed her hand which she still held on to so tightly, clutching it as if he were her lifeline.

"Come with me," he said and he led her towards the tunnels underneath the castle.

A/N: Hi everyone thank you so much for all of the feedback. I am sorry this took so long to get out but I had to think of where I was going to start and how all the plotlines of the seasons was going to change. Chapter two will be up much quicker I promise. Feedback is appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Merlin led Morgana down towards the caverns and tunnels that were below the castle so that they could talk privately without being overheard by the wrong people. Merlin's head was reeling with all the possible things that he could tell her. He had to do it just right so she would stay on his side this time and not turn evil as she had been in another reality. If he was not as honest and upfront with her this time then there would be even greater dire consequences. He would not tell her her that he was Emrys, that part had to stay hidden, for now at least. He knew the amount of harm someone having that information could cause, especially in the hands of Morgana if things were to go a wry.

As he walked briskly down the hall he was stopped dead in his tracks by the sound of his master.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted with his usual annoyance. Merlin stopped and gave a sideways glance to Morgana but she did not meet his gaze and simply stared at Arthur as he approached them.

"Yes sire?" Merlin asked cursing Arthur's horrible timing.

"To whom to you work for?" Arthur asked looking from him to Morgana. "Last I checked you were not a maidservant." Merlin held back a smirk that threatened to cross his face. This would be the typical reaction Arthur would give to seeing the Lady Morgana associating herself with a mere servant. His position rarely irked him but it did at this particular moment when the fate of Camelot rested on this confrontation. He realized then that he was going to have to e more careful with how he treated this situation.

"Well you see we were just talking while I looked for you so I could figure out what I needed to do for you," Merlin said blundering over his words and trying to backtrack.

"I see," Arthur said looking suspiciously from Morgana to Merlin. Morgana stood rigid and still did not speak. Merlin suspected she was still worn out by her ordeal that she was dealing with.

"I should get going," she said softly and nodded to Arthur as she walked briskly back towards the direction of her chambers. Merlin watched her go, almost transfixed by the way she carried herself and juse the sheer beauty of her figure that he had always admired from afar.

"Honestly Merlin," Arthur said as he lightly nudged Merlin in the shoulder. "You should keep to people nearer your station." Merlin had heard this warning from Arthur in a previous point in time and had taken it under advisement, while denying his attraction to Morgana ta the time. This time Merlin was not so sure that there was nothing to be attracted to. On the contrary there were so many things that he had always respected , loved and appreciated about Uther's ward. He was not about to confess this to Arthur however.

"Anything you say sire," Merlin said playfully as he saw Arthur's eyebrows raised in confusion as if he knew Merlin was pulling his leg. Arthur was not always a simpleton after all. He nodded and shrugged it off. "What did you need sire?"

"My chain mail needs cleaning…" Arthur said absentmindedly and Merlin simply nodded and headed in the direction of Arthur's chambers where he knew a pile of chain mail would be stacked in a disarrayed pile for him to clean.

* * *

Morgana walked back to her chambers feeling exhausted. This was a normal feeling of course for one who never got any sleep at all but it was even worse than usual. Merlin had been about to tell her something important before Arthur had walked right into their path and deterred the conversation from even happening. Morgana knew that it was important however and wanted to ensure that the information was given. Merlin was her friend, more so then most and he would be honest with her and she was certain of this. He had to tell her. The look that occasionally passed between them when they spoke told all that she needed to know. He cared for her in ways that Gwen and Arthur and Uther would never match up to.

When Morgana reached her chambers and opened the door she saw Gwen hastily cleaning up and making the beat neat and letting light into the room. Despite her maidservant's efforts, Morgana could not help but feel that her chambers looked a little more dejected considering there was still a hint of smoke that tinged the air and while the overhangs on her bed had been changed, she still remembered waking up to the room being aflame and the fear it had struck in her. She stood staring at the bed, dumbfounded until she noticed Gwen had stopped busying herself and was looking up at her with a worried expression.  
"I'm fine," Morgana said distractedly. She went over to the window and stared out while Gwen continued to busy herself with the room and making tit look homier then it would ever be. "I need you to do something for me," she said finally.

"Yes my lady?" Gwen said stopping to take instruction.

"Deliver a message to Merlin that I would like a sleeping draft brought to my chambers this evening." Gwen simply nodded and courtsied and went about her chores. Morgana relaxed a little bit then knowing that whatever Merlin had had to say would now be delivered without Arthur or anyone else's interruptions. The longing to know would drive her mad but she would have to wait till evening and somehow pass the time until he came to her.

**A/N: So I want to apologize for this being a little late for update but I will have Chapter 3 much quicker and maybe spark the romance between the two of them a little more. Hehehe. Let me know what you think and if the character interpretation is good so far. I'm trying to incorporate all the other characters one at a time as well. Gaius and Uther may be featured in the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello everyone! I truly apologize for the long wait. But here we go with a slightly longer chapter and something much more exciting! As always feedback is appreciated and will make me write faster :)**

Chapter 3

Merlin sighed with relief when he was finally done with his chores for the day. Between Arthur and Gaius he had a workload that should be against the law. During the day he had heard from Gwen about Lady Morgana wanting some more of her sleeping draft later on in the evening when he had the chance. Merlin supposed she was more interested in what he had to tell her as opposed to the sleeping draft itself.

He had seen her at dinner when he was serving the Pendragon family and she had seemed rather jump in her seat as though she could not wait to be away from them all. He could understand that, if she indeed had magic (which he already knew of course) then Uther would presumably have her killed and considering he was her care giver this was a huge wait that was almost impossible to carry and the more Merlin watched her the more he sympathized.

Merlintidied up around his own room before going down the stairs and saying good night to Gaius and grabbing the sleeping draft on his way out.

"Merlin," Gaius called. Merlin stopped waiting for him to say something along the lines of 'whatever you do, do not help her'. Of course he planned on ignoring them this time around but he had to let Gaius believe he was on the same side. "Do not help her, she will be fine in a few days. You mustn't let her know of your powers it would be exceedingly dangerous."

"But Gaius—" Merlin protested.

"Deliver the sleeping draft and come straight home," Gaius said with a no nonsense manner and before Merlin could responded he already had his back turned to work on whatever he was doing before Merlin had come down. Merlin shrugged and raced off towards Morgana's chambers.

"That'll be all Gwen, thank you." Morgana waited while Gwen busied herself about the room. She could always find something that needed to be done even if the room was kept completely spotless and shining. It was one of the qualities that Morgana loved and did not love about her maidservant.

"Yes m' lady, " Gwen said hurriedly straightening the bed sheets. "Are you sure you are alright with me going home this evening?" She had been asking all day, concerned for Morgana's health because of the lack of sleep she had been having. Morgana nodded.

"Go home Gwen," Morgana said reassuringly. "I'm fine and you need your rest."

"Of course," Gwen answered like she had not even thought of that. "Merlin will bring your sleeping draft presently. Between Gaius and Arthur he has a lot to deal with." Morgana nodded and watched as Gwen made ready to leave. "Merlin," she nodded to him as he entered and she drew her cloak nearer to her body and left the two of them alone.

Merlin stood awkwardly in the doorway looking awkward and uncertain. Morgana stood up and walked over to where he was standing and shut the door behind him. "Thank you for coming," she said and took the sleeping draft from his hand and went to leave it on the dressing table. As she went to touch the sleeping draft their fingers touched and sent a shiver of energy down her arm. She almost dropped the draft out of shock but Merlin steadied her. "I'm fine," she said quickly and turned towards the window at the other end of the room.

They stood silently for a moment. It was a difficult conversation to begin and Morgana did not know exactly how it was going to happen. She finally turned from the window and looked at him while he shifted from one foot to the other. This was hard for him, she could see that. It was something big that he was hiding from her, he looked like he was going to fall over.

"Take a seat Merlin," she said, gesturing towards the bed. Merlin shuffled towards the bed and sank onto it looking at his hands. He had not met her eyes since they had been in the room together. She walked over and sat next to him and without thinking took one of his hands and squeezed it between her own. "Its alright Merlin, we're friends. Whatever you tell me will stay between us." He looked at her then. The way he stared at her was so strange, as though he was not sure if he actually could trust her and it almost seemed as though he were second guessing himself. She hoped he would not, she needed to know. She had been jittery and frightened and worried all day, and hopeful for whatever he would tell her.

"I…" he started and then stopped, using his free hand to run it through his hair nervously. He never moved away from her though. "I know how it feels."

"How what feels?" she asked, confused all the more now by his utter nervousness. He was at war with himself in such a way that made her uncomfortable.

"I know how it feels to be alone and afraid of who you are and what you are capable of," he continued. "I know what it is like to have powers that I don't understand and to live under the same roof as Uther every day and live with the fear of being caught." Morgana's mouth started to fall open as she realized what he was telling her, or what she thought he was telling her.

"Are you saying…?" she couldn't finish the sentence. She could not, would not, hope that someone would go through this process with her. She could not hope that Merlin would teach her had to use and control her powers. And yet when she looked in his eyes she could almost see the magic in them. Merlin gently moved his hand from hers. He bowed his head and Morgana saw his eyes turn yellow as he produced a flower and handed it to her.

"I have magic Morgana," he said and she watched with amazement as tears came to his eyes as he spoke. "I have magic and I use it to protect Arthur, and Uther, from their enemies to hopefully restore Camelot to its rightful place as a free kingdom to all kinds of people." Morgana could not stop staring at the flower. She wiped her eyes hastily hoping that Merlin would not see her tears. They were both so vulnerable right now. It was amazing either of them was still holding it together.

"I don't believe it," she said finally even as she stared at the flower. "You mean, you know how to control it? You can teach me to control the fire?" Merlin nodded. He looked eager to help her and maybe it was because of the excitement she was showing. Out of nowhere she began to laugh. It echoed about the room as she looked at Merlin as he began to laugh with her. She clasped his hands in hers and the two of them stayed like that for a moment.

Hesitantly Merlin began to shift and Morgana saw his eyes change color again and the candle flame on the desk began to move up as she had done in her sleep but then he brought it back down to the point where it was almost extinguished. She clapped her hands in excitement. She felt almost like a child in her excitement. She watched then as he lifted the candle from the table and it moved across the room towards them until he held it in his hand.

"Its brilliant," she exclaimed.

"It is," Merlin agreed.

"Thank you Merlin," Morgana said as Merlin stood up and went to place the candle back on the desk. She was a little surprised that he put in the effort but that was probably out of habit.

"I did not think it was fair for you to handle this alone," he said. Morgana rose from the bed went over to him and without thinking she hugged him. He seemed just as surprised as she was. He was a servant, this was not something that typically happened. He eventually returned the hug and Morgana realized that she could have stayed in his arms like that for a long time but she knew she had to let him go back before Gaius noticed.

"I have to get back," he said when they finally disentangled themselves. Morgana nodded and opened the door. She smiled fondly at the servant boy as his head down the steps towards his chambers. He turned back a moment with a big smile on his face and she returned it before closing the door behind her.

For the first time in a long time, she finally felt safe.


End file.
